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Science Jokes Page 2
 

YOU MIGHT BE A PHYSICS MAJOR...

if you have no life - and you can PROVE it mathematically.

if you enjoy pain.

if you know vector calculus but you can't remember how to do long division.

if you chuckle whenever anyone says "centrifugal force."

if you've actually used every single function on your graphing calculator.

if when you look in a mirror, you see a physics major.

if it is sunny and 70 degrees outside, and you are working on a computer.

if you frequently whistle the theme song to "MacGyver."

if you always do homework on Friday nights.

 if you know how to integrate a chicken and can take the derivative of water.

 if you think in "math."

 if you've calculated that the World Series actually diverges.

 if you hesitate to look at something because you don't want to break down its wave function.

 if you have a pet named after a scientist.

 if you laugh at jokes about mathematicians.

 i if you can translate English into Binary.

 if you can't remember what's behind the door in the science building which says "Exit."

 if you have to bring a jacket with you, in the middle of summer, because there's a wind-chill factor in the lab.

 If you are completely addicted to caffeine.

 if you avoid doing anything because you don't want to contribute to the eventual heat-death of the universe.

 if you consider ANY non-science course "easy."

 if when your professor asks you where your homework is, you claim to have accidentally determined its momentum so precisely, that according to

Heisenberg it could be anywhere in the universe.

 if the "fun" center of your brain has deteriorated from lack of use.

 if you'll assume that a "horse" is a "sphere" in order to make the math easier.

 if you understood more than five of these indicators.

 if you make a hard copy of this list, and post it on your door.

 


A young astronomer came rushing into the office of the head astronomer and announced:

  "Sir!  I have just spent the last 6hrs at our telescope and have made an astonishing discovery!  However, there is good news, and bad news!"

 The old astronomer, naturally, asks: "What is the good news?"

  "I have just discovered a new galaxy, that has just appeared, and is only 14 light years away from our own!", replied the young astronomer.

  "My God, that's fantastic, that's wonderful, amazing, etc. What bad news could there possibly be about that?"  The old astronomer quieried.

  The young astronomer replies, "Sir, it's BLUE!"


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