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We have these
items... |
| Miscellaneous Jokes
Page #1 (01-08) |
| In this section we have
mentioned all the jokes that weren't fit to any
other category presented... |
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Clever
Nepali Guy
A Nepali guy, an Indian
guy, a beautiful girl and an old woman are sitting
in a train. The train suddenly goes thru a tunnel
and it gets completely dark. Suddenly there was a
kissing sound and then a slap! The train comes out
of the tunnel. The old woman, beautiful girl and the
Indian guy are sitting there looking perplexed. The
Indian guy is bent over holding his face, which is
red from an apparent slap. The old woman is
thinking: That Indian guy must have tried to kiss
that girl and got slapped. The Indian guy is
thinking: "Damn it, that Nepali guy must have tried
to kiss the beautiful girl, she thought it was me
and slapped me instead." The beautiful girl is
thinking: "That Indian guy must have moved to kiss
me, but kissed the old lady instead and got
slapped." The Nepali guy is thinking: "If this train
goes through another tunnel, I could make another
kissing sound and slap that Indian guy again."
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Hitler
and the guilty officer
Adolph Hitler
was conducting a General Staff meeting, when
somebody sneezed. “Who was that!?” shouted Hitler,
whirling around from a wall map of Europe. Nobody
said anything.
“I see, ”he said, “I will have 10 of you shot. And
maybe then you will tell me who sneezed?” A Gestapo
agent took 10 people out of the room. Shots were
heard, then silence.
“I will ask again, “yelled Hitler, “who sneezed?’”
Again, no body said anything. “Very vell, ”he said,
“I will have another 10 of you shot!”.
The Gestapo agent escorted 10 more people out of the
room and executed them. “For the very last time,
“screamed Hitler, “Who sneezed?”
Finally the guilty officer could stand no more. He
stood up and said, ”It was me, I am the one who
sneezed.”
Hitler slowly approached the shaking officer and
said. ”Bless you.” |
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Blind man and the dog
A blind man was out walking with his
seeing eye dog when suddenly the
animal paused and wet the man's leg.
Bending down, the blind man
stretched out his hand and patted
the dog's head.
Having watched what happened, a
passerby said, "Say, why are you
patting him? That dog just peed on
your leg!"
"I know," said the blind man, "but I
gotta find his head before I can
kick his butt."
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Poor Guy
A man escapes from prison where he
has been for 15 years. He breaks
into a house to look for money and
guns and finds a young couple in
bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and
ties him to a chair, while tying the
girl to the bed he gets on top of
her, kisses her neck, then gets up
and goes into the bathroom. While
he's in there, the husband tells his
wife:
"Listen, this guy's an escaped
convict, look at his clothes! He
probably spent lots of time in jail
and hasn't seen a woman in years. I
saw how he kissed your neck." If he
wants sex, don't resist, don't
complain, do whatever he tells you.
Satisfy him no matter how much he
nauseates you. This guy is probably
very dangerous. If he gets angry,
he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I
love you."
To which his wife responds: "He
wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas
whispering in my ear. He told me he
was gay, thought you were cute, and
asked me if we had any vaseline. I
told him it was in the bathroom. Be
strong honey. I love you too!!"
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A hundred prostitutes in Washington
D.C. were asked if they would ever
sleep with President Clinton.
60% said, "Never again!"
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Helping little boy
A man is walking down the street one
day when he notices a very small boy
trying to press a doorbell on a
house across the street. However,
the boy is very small and the
doorbell is too high for him to
reach. After watching the boy's
efforts for some time, the man moves
closer to the boy's position.
He steps smartly across the street,
walks up behind the little fellow
and, placing his hand kindly on the
child's shoulder, leans over and
gives the doorbell a solid ring.
Crouching down to the childs level,
the man smiles benevolently and
asks, "And now what, my little man?"
The boy replies, "Now we run!"
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Don't
Look at anything in a physics Lab.
Don't Taste anything in a chemistry Lab.
Don't Smell anything in a biology Lab.
Don't Touch anything in a medical Lab.
Don't
listen to anything in a philosophy department |
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Allare
and the cockroach
Allare was very keen on doing his
Ph.D. He was in search of a subject on which no one
did any research before!
As he was thinking over it, he found a cockroach on
the table in front of him. He decided instantly to
do a research on the roach.
He picked the roach and put it in the center of the
table and said: "Run". The roach ran.
He pulled out one leg of the roach, put it again in
the center of the table and said: "Run". The roach
ran.
He pulled one more leg of the roach, put it again in
the center of the table and said: "Run". The roach
ran. This way the roach tried to run even when it
had just one leg.
He pulled last leg of the roach, put it again in the
center of the table and said: "Run". The roach could
not!
Our Professor Allare was satisfied with his study
and started writing his thesis: "When you pull out
all the legs of a roach, it cannot hear anymore". |
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