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We have these
items... |
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Perhaps this is the subject that has more jokes than
any other subject in the world. We have some of
them... |
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Men Women Jokes
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At...
At 18 a lady is a football, 22 men
after her.
At 28 a lady is a Basketball, 10 men after her.
At 38 a lady is a Golf ball, 1 man after her.
At 48 a lady is a TT ball, 1 man pushing her to the
other. |
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The
$10 Million Reason to get Married
After
weeks of getting the cold shoulder from his wife, an
unhappy husband finally confronted her.
"Admit it, Linda," he said, "The only reason you
married me is because my grandfather left me $10
million."
"Don't
be ridiculous!" she shot back. "I don't care who
left it to you." |
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The
Divorced Barbie
Ralph is
driving home one evening when he suddenly realizes
that it's his daughter's birthday and he hasn't
bought her a present.
He
drives to the mall, runs to the toy store and says
to the shop assistant, "How much is that Barbie in
the window?"
In a
condescending manner, she asks, "Which Barbie?"
She
continues, "We have Barbie Goes to the Gym for
$19.95, Barbie Goes to the Ball for $19.95, Barbie
Goes Shopping for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Beach
for $19.95, Barbie Goes Nightclubbing for $19.95,
and Divorced Barbie for $265.00."
Ralph
asks, "Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.00 when all
the others are only $19.95?"
"That's
obvious," the sales lady replies. "The Divorced
Barbie comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, Ken's
boat, and Ken's furniture." |
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Female Comebacks
Man:
Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man:
Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man:
Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.
Man:
So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man:
Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
Man:
How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man:
Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man:
I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man: If
I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die
laughing. |
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How
to Impress a Woman
Compliment her,respect her,
honor her,
cuddle her,
kiss her,caress her,
love her,stroke her,
tease her,comfort her,
protect her,hug her,
hold her,spend money on her,
wine and dine her,
buy things for her,
listen to her,care for her,
stand by her,
support her,hold her,
go to the ends of the Earth for her.
How
to Impress a Man
Show up
naked.
Bring food. |
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