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Jokes on this page are either told by Hum Jayega himself or are found people telling them using Hum Jayega's name...
Hum Jayega's Jokes Page #1 (01-10)

किराहरु र जनावरहरुको फूटबल म्याच

एकचोटि किराहरु र जनावरहरुको फूटबल म्याच भएछ । हाफ ट्याम हुँदासम्म जनावरहरुले ६ गोल गरेछन्, तर किराहरुले भने गोलै गर्न सकेनछन् । दोश्रो हाफमा किराहरुको कोचले सय खुट्टे अरिमुठे (MILLIPEDE) ल्याएछ । अरिमुठेले दनादन १२ गोल ठोकेछ, किराहरुले १२-६ मा खेल जितेछन् । खेल सकिएपछि पत्रकारहरुले किराको कोचलाई सोधे;
"कोचज्यू, यस्तो राम्रो खेल्ने अरिमुठेलाई पहिल्यैबाट किन नखेलाएको?"
"पहिल्यैबाट खेलाउने मन त मलाईपनि थियो भाई, तर के गर्ने, बिचरालाई सय वटा खुट्टामा बुट कस्नै हाफ टाइमसम्म लाग्यो

दिमागमा आगो

श्रीमती: तिमी मलाई धेरै रिस नउठाउ त ! मेरो दिमागमा आगो बलेको छ आज ।
हम जाएगा: ए, तेही भएर होला, आज बिहानैदेखि गुईँठा बालेको गन्ध आएको ।

One day Hum Jayega went to the doctor with both of his ears burnt.

Doctor: So tell me how u burnt your both ears?'
Hum Jayega: I was ironing when the phone rang and I answered the iron by mistake"
Doctor: But how did you burn both of them?
Hum Jayega: Well, as soon as I put the iron down, the phone rang again.

When Hum Jayega went to Greece looking for a job, he got one as a tourist guide. On his first assignment.

Tourist: This skull must be the Great Alexander's?

Hum Jayega: Yes madam, it is!

Tourist: What about this small one?

Hum Jayega: Oh! that was when he was only a kid.

Chicken and Egg:

Friend: I just wonder how a chick hatches out of an egg!

Hum Jayega: I too, but I am more surprised as to how the chick entered the egg in the first place!


HUM JAYEGA walks into a doctor's office and tells the doctor he's broken every single bone in his body. "That's impossible!" says the doctor. HUM JAYEGA says, "No, it's really true. Look!" He then touches his leg with her index finger and screams "Ouch!" Then he touches his arm and yells "Eeeeoooow!" Finally he touches his ribs and can barely maintain his composure as the tears start to roll down his face. He says, "See, I told you I broke every bone in my body." The doctor rubs his chin, then conducts a thorough examination. "Well, Sir," he tells HUM JAYEGA, "I've got some good news and some bad news. The good news is, you haven't broken every bone in your body. The bad news is, you've broken your finger."

HUM JAYEGA and his friend walk into a bar. HUM JAYEGA tells the bartender to line up a row of drinks for all of them. They lift their glasses and toast, "Here's to 51 days!" and they proceed to down their drinks. Once again, they tell the bartender to "line them up", and once again they toast 51 days and down their drinks. The bartender says, "I don't get it. Why in the world are you toasting 51 days?" HUM JAYEGA explains, "We just finished a jigsaw puzzle. It had written on the box '2-4 years,' but we finished it in 51 days!"

(Actually the 2-4 years meant the age group for the jigsaw puzzle.)

Be Silent

Our Hum Jayega got an opportunity to fly to a nearby country. Hum Jayega had never flied before and hence was quite excited although tense.
Once he boarded the plane, a BOEING 707 Hum Jayega started jumping in excitement, jumping from seat to seat and shouting 'BOEING! BOEING!! BOEING!!! BO....'.
He forgot all about the surroundings and the shouting reached the cock-pit.
Irritated by the sound, the Pilot came out and shouted 'BE SILENT! '.
There was a pin-drop silence everywhere and everybody was  looking at the Hum Jayega and the angry Pilot.

Hum Jayega stared at the Pilot in silence for a moment and the next moment was shouting, 'OEING!     OEING!!          OEING!!!   OE...'.

Hum Jayega in Hospital


Once Hum Jayega was admitted to the hospital for an operation. But one day a nurse saw him rushing out of the hospital on his wheelchair.

Nurse: (Dismayed) You have an operation today, isn't it?

Hum Jayega: Yes!

Nurse: Then why are you running away?

Hum Jayega: Because a nurse said, "Why are you so afraid. Nothing will go wrong. It's just a minor operation."

Nurse: Yes, it's a minor operation but why are you so worried?

Hum Jayega: Because the nurse was telling that to the doctor not me!

Hum Jayega in Titanic

"Help.... the Titanic is going to be drowned...."
Everybody in the ship is shouting, crying, running or praying to God...
Just then a Italian asks the nearby Hum Jayega in the ship.
Italian : How far is land, from here ?
Hum Jayega : Two miles .
Italian : Only two miles, Then why are these fools making noise.
I have got the experience of swimming even more.
The Italian jumps off the ship into the sea and comes up to the layer to ask something again.
Italian : Just tell me which side, is land two miles from here ?
Hum Jayega : Downwards... !!


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