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Dirty Jokes Page 1

At Church

Girl: "Forgive me father for I have sinned."
Priest: "What have you done my child?"

Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch."
Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bitch?"

Girl: "Because he touched my hand."
Priest: "Like this?" (As he touches her hand)

Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "Thats no reason to call a man a son of a bitch."

Girl: "Then he touched my breast."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)

Girl: : "Yes father."
Priest:: "Thats no reason to call him a son of a bitch."

Girl: : "Then he took off my clothes,
father." Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)

Girl: : "Yes father."
Priest:"Thats no reason to call him a son of a bitch."

Girl: : "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)

Girl: : "Yes father."
Priest: "Thats no reason to call him a son of a bitch."

Girl: : "Then he pumped me fast and furious..."
Priest: The priest pumps her fast and says "Thats no reason to call him a son of a bitch."

Priest: (after a few minutes): "Ahh... Thats no reason to call him a son of a bitch."

Girl: : "But father he had AIDS!"
Priest: "THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!"

Clever Teacher

A high school English teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.
"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being there tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever."

A smart ass guy in the back of the room raises his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"

The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

Breast Milk

A not necessarily well-prepared student sat in his life science classroom, staring at a question on the final exam paper.
The question directed: "Give four advantages of breast milk." "What to write?" he sighed, and began to scribble whatever came into his head, hoping for the best:

1. No need to boil.
2. Never goes sour.
3. Available whenever necessary.
So far so good - maybe. But the exam demanded a fourth answer.

Again, what to write? Once more, he sighed. He frowned. He scowled, then sighed again. Suddenly, he brightened. He grabbed his pen, and triumphantly, he scribbled his definitive answer:
4. Available in attractive containers of varying sizes.

Q: What is the difference between a good secretary & an excellent one?
A: A good secretary says, "Good morning, sir." & an excellent secretary says, "It's morning, sir."

The Cowboy

A Wyoming cowboy gets off a plane in L.A., walks into a nearby bar and sits down beside a stunning looking redhead. He tries to pick her up but she says, "Don`t waste your time...I`m a lesbian."

"What part of Lesbia are you from?" he asks.

"You don`t understand...see that gorgeous blonde on the other side of the bar? Well, I`d love to take her up to my room, strip her naked and make mad passionate love to her!"

"Wow!" says the cowboy, "I`d like to do the same thing...I must be a lesbian too!"

Afridi has the record of century with 37 balls. Tendulkar has scored century with 43 balls.
But, nobody can beat "Dhritrastra" in Mahabharat, scoring century with 2 balls!!

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