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Funny Definitions at humjayega.tk
  1. Accountant  - someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.

  2. Ambassador : An honest man sent to lie abroad for the good of his country.

  3. Anonymous : The worlds most popular author.

  4. Antique: an item your grandparents bought, your parents got rid of, and you're buying again.

  5. Appendix -a portion of a book, for which nobody yet has discovered any use.

  6. Baby : A loud voice at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other.

  7. Baby-sitter: a teenager who must behave like an adult so that the adults who are out can behave like teenagers.

  8. Bank - a place that will lend you money if you can prove you don't need it.

  9. Beauty : The power with which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.

  10. Boss: A person who comes early to see who comes late.

  11. Bus: A vehicle that runs faster when you run after it and runs slowly when you are inside it.

  12. Capital Punishment: Killing people who kill people to prove that killing people is wrong.

  13. Cheque Book: A book with unhappy ending.

  14. Chickens: the only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

  15. College:  the four year period when parents are permitted access to the telephone.

  16. Conference: the confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

  17. Conference: A meeting of bored people.

  18. Criminal: A guy no different from the rest of us except that he got caught.

  19. Committee:  Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

  20. Conclusion : What you reach when you're tired of thinking.

  21. Conscience: the thing which hurts when everything else feels good.

  22. Consciousness: the annoying time between naps.

  23. Creator: a comedian whose audience is afraid to laugh.

  24. Cynic: a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.

  25. Diet : a brief period of starvation followed by a gain of five pounds.

  26. Diplomacy : The art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a rock.

  27. Diplomat: a person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward for the trip.

  28. Divorce: future tense of marriage.

  29. Divorce lawyer: a lawyer whose primary responsibility is to make sure you get half and he gets the other half.

  30. Doctor: a person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

  31. Earth: A small planet with major problems.

  32. Education : is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence.

  33. Etc.: a sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

  34. Exam: Where foolish asks questions which wise cannot answer.

  35. Experience : the name men give to their mistakes.

  36. Father: a banker provided by the nature.

  37. Fiction: the story told by a completed income tax form.

  38. Foreign Aid: The transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries

  39. Group discussion: a place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

  40. Justice : A decision in your favor.

  41. Keyboard: the standard way to generate computer errors.

  42. Kitchen: Final laboratory of women.

  43. Laziness: the habit of resting before you get tired.

  44. Life: a sexually transmitted disease with 100% fatality rate.

  45. Love: Temporary insanity curable by marriage.

  46. Miser: a person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

  47. Mosquito: an insect that makes you like flies better.

  48. Old Age: When you wink at a girl and she says, “Anything wrong with your eyes, Uncle?”

  49. Optimist: 1) A person who, while falling from Eiffel tower, says in midway "see, I am not injured yet." 2)Unborn pessimist

  50. Patriotism: the willingness to kill and be killed for trivial reasons dreamed up by politicians.






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