someone who solves a problem you didn't know you
had in a way you don't understand.
Ambassador : An
honest man sent to lie abroad for the good of
Anonymous : The
worlds most popular author.
Antique: an item
your grandparents bought, your parents got rid
of, and you're buying again.
portion of a book, for which nobody yet has
discovered any use.
: A loud voice at
one end and no sense of responsibility at the
teenager who must behave like an adult so that
the adults who are out can behave like
Bank - a
place that will lend you money if you can prove
you don't need it.
: The power with which a woman charms a lover
and terrifies a husband.
person who comes early to see who comes late.
vehicle that runs faster when you run after it
and runs slowly when you are inside it.
Killing people who kill people to prove that
killing people is wrong.
Book: A book with unhappy ending.
only animals you eat before they are born and
after they are dead.
four year period when parents are permitted
access to the telephone.
the confusion of one man multiplied by the
meeting of bored people.
guy no different from the rest of us except that
he got caught.
Individuals who can do nothing individually and
sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Conclusion : What
you reach when you're tired of thinking.
thing which hurts when everything else feels
the annoying time between naps.
comedian whose audience is afraid to laugh.
a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around
for a coffin.
: a brief period of starvation followed by a
gain of five pounds.
Diplomacy : The
art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can
find a rock.
person who tells you to go to hell in such a way
that you actually look forward for the trip.
future tense of marriage.
Divorce lawyer: a
lawyer whose primary responsibility is to make
sure you get half and he gets the other half.
a person who kills your ills by pills, and kills
you with his bills.
small planet with major problems.
Education : is
the ability to listen to almost anything without
losing your temper or your self-confidence.
Etc.: a sign
to make others believe that you know more than
you actually do.
foolish asks questions which wise cannot answer.
the name men give to their mistakes.
banker provided by the nature.
story told by a completed income tax form.
Foreign Aid: The
transfer of money from poor people in rich
countries to rich people in poor countries
a place where everybody talks, nobody listens
and everybody disagrees later on.
Justice : A
decision in your favor.
standard way to generate computer errors.
Final laboratory of women.
habit of resting before you get tired.
a sexually transmitted disease with 100%
Temporary insanity curable by marriage.
a person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
insect that makes you like flies better.
Old Age: When
you wink at a girl and she says, “Anything wrong
with your eyes, Uncle?”
Optimist: 1) A
person who, while falling from Eiffel tower,
says in midway "see, I am not injured yet."
willingness to kill and be killed for trivial
reasons dreamed up by politicians.