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Corporate Humour #1

What your supervisor really means

 SOME of you might like to know what the supervisor is really saying in all those glowing employee work performance evaluations s/he keeps cranking out.

  • Active socially: Drinks heavily

  • Alert to company developments: An office gossip

  • Approaches difficult problems with logic: Finds someone else to do the job

  • Average: Not too bright

  • Character above reproach: Still one step ahead of the law

  • Competent: Is still able to get work done if supervisor helps

  • Conscientious and careful: Scared

  • Consults with supervisor often: Pain In the ass

  • Demonstrates qualities of leadership: Has a loud voice

  • Deserves promotion: Create new title to make him/her feel appreciated

  • Enjoys job: Needs more to do

  • Exceptionally well qualified: Has committed no major blunders to date

  • Express self well: Can string two sentences together

  • Gets along extremely well with superiors and subordinates alike: A coward

  • Happy: Paid too much

  • Hard worker: Usually does it the hard way

  • Indifferent to instruction: Knows more than supervisor

  • Is usually loyal: Wanted by no one else

  • Judgment is usually sound: Lucky

  • A keen analyst: Thoroughly confused

  • Keen sense of humour: Knows lot of dirty jokes

  • Maintains professional attitude: A snob

  • Meticulous in attention to detail: A nit picker

  • Not a desk person: did not go to college

  • Of great value to the organization: Turns in work on time

  • Quick thinking: Officer plausible excuses for errors

  • Requires work-value attitudinal readjustment: Lazy and hardheaded

  • Should go far: please

  • Slightly below average: Stupid

  • Spends extra hours on the job: Miserable home life

  • Stern disciplinarian: A real jerk

  • Strong adherence to principles: Stubborn

  • Tactful in dealing with superiors: Knows when to keep mouth shut

  • Takes pride in work: conceited

  • Takes advantages of every opportunity to progress: Buys drinks for superiors

  • Unlimited potential: Will stick with us until retirement

  • Uses Time effectively: Clock watcher

  • Very creative: Finds 22 reasons to do anything except original work

  • Well organized: does too much busy work

  • Will go far: Relative of management

  • Zealous attitude: Opinionated



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