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Stage
1: smart
This
is when you suddenly become an expert on every
subject in the known universe. You known everything
and want to pass on your knowledge to any one who
will listen. At this stage you are always ‘right’.
And of course, the person you are talking to is very
‘wrong’. This makes for an interesting argument when
both parties are ‘smart’.
Stage
2: Good looking
This
is when you realise you are the ‘best looking’
person in the entire bar and that people want you.
You can go up to a perfect stranger knowing they
want you and really want to talk to you. Bear in
mind that you are still ‘smart’, so you can talk to
this person about any subject under the sun.
Stage
3: Rich
This
is when you suddenly become the richest person in
the world. You can buy drinks for the entire bar
because you have an armoured truck full of money
parked behind the bar. You can also make bets at
this stage, because of course, you are still
’smart’, so naturally you will win all your bets. It
doesn’t matter how much you bet because you are
‘rich’. You will also buy drinks for everyone that
you fancy, because now you are the ‘best looking’
person in the world.
Stage
4: Bullet proof
You are
now ready to pick fights to anyone and everyone
especially those with whom you have been betting or
arguing. This is because nothing can hurt you. At
this point you can also go up to the partners of the
people who you fancy and challenge to a battle
because you are ‘smart’, ‘rich’ and hell, you’re
‘better looking’ than they are anyway!
Stage
5: Invisible
This is
the final stage of drunkenness. At this point you
can do anything because ‘no one can see you’. You
dance on a table to impress the people you fancy
because the rest of the people in the room can’t see
you. You are also invisible to the person who wants
to fight you. You can walk through the street
singing at the top of yours lungs because no one can
see or hear you and because you’re still ‘smart’ you
know all the words.
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